He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
