why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
