Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
