If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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