so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
