it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
