Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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