About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
