It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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