I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
dude. I can hear the air.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
