the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
