I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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