Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
