You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize