Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
