I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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