Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
