I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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