I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
