I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
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