I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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