Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize