Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
