you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
