Moan for me like Helen Keller
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize