After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
