Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
