Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
