in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
