So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
