K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Houston, we have a blender
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
