He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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