my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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