he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
