Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
