that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
