So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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