If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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