dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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