you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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