no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
