batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
