what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
