she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
