Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
