Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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