i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
