he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize