I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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