Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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