I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
its not stalking. its research.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
