At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
