Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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