wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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