Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
