Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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