so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
