roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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