The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
