i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
God, I missed his penis.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
