Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
zippers are such a cool invention
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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