fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
