okay pat passed out under dana's car
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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