We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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